Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Vegas Baby!

Originally published May, 2003.

Q: If you are in a "relationship" is it wrong or inappropriate to go on vacation with your friends? My girlfriends are planning a trip to Vegas and my boyfriend thinks it's "oh so wrong" if I were to go with them. What is the deal, I see nothing wrong with getting away with your closest girlfriends every once in a while. Do you?

A: Hell no, there ain't nothing wrong with a little getaway with the girls. I'm with you, go on with your bad self and make sure to send me some pictures (the more incriminating, the better).

Of course, you have to understand your boyfriend's objection (I am curious about your use of quotation marks around the word relationship, is he a boyfriend or not?). To you it's a nice "vacation with your friends", but let's be realistic here: it's VEGAS. A town that, despite the Disney-inspired recent developments on the strip, offers 24 hour alcohol sales, drive-though wedding chapels, private strippers, and semi-legalized prostitution. When groups of guys go to Vegas, they go to drink heavily, ogle chicks, and get laid (oh yeah, and gamble). You and your friends probably aren't that interested in calling Pamela Peaks for a hotel room visit or taking the 45-minute drive to the nearest legal brothel. However, you will most likely be spending your time drunk (if you do it right) or otherwise intoxicated and surrounded by hoards of men who are in town for only one night, with only one purpose in mind. Nobody goes to the museums, the shows are just time fillers, and Hoover Dam is just a stop on the highway for most. Groups of young people go to Vegas to party. Period.

Your "boyfriend" probably doesn't object to you going away with your friends, just to where you are going. I'm sure that he'd have no problem with you and the girls heading out to the Amish country, Napa Valley, or Salt Lake City. But let's be honest here: A trip to Vegas (or New Orleans, Ft. Lauderdale, Cancun, Amsterdam, etc.) implies certain behaviors that he may feel threatened about. Just think of the recent commercials for Las Vegas that advertise what happens there stays there. He's worried about how you'll be partying and the people you'd be partying with. If he knows that he's only in a "relationship", not a quotation-free relationship, then he may have reason to worry. But does he really? I doubt it. Regardless of what you do in Vegas, I don't think that it will have any impact on how you feel toward your "boyfriend". You're probably not planning on doing anything that would hurt your "relationship", but even if you manage to hook up with every hot guy in the Mandalay Bay, you aren't going to fall in love in Vegas and you've still got a ticket home. The only thing you can really do for your "boyfriend" is to try to alleviate some of his insecurity. Eliminating the quotation marks is a good start, but also assure him that it's a harmless weekend and emphasize the quality time you will be spending with the girls. No matter what some people do in Vegas, it is possible (so I hear) to have a good time without indulging in a bit of sexual indiscretion. You should also point out that being able to trust your partner enough to let them out of your sight once in a while, even to Vegas, is fundamental to any good "relationship".

PS. Whatever you do in Vegas, resist the drunken urge to get married. I don't know your "boyfriend", but I'm pretty sure that won't go over too well.